


When Christmas Morn is Dawning

by pandorabox82



Category: Holby City
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 08:31:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8883949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: Dom volunteers to work Christmas Day, but finds himself working with Hanssen, of all people. Though a chance meeting on the roof has him rethinking things about the man.





	

Dom didn't know why he'd volunteered to work on Christmas day. The idea had drawn such derision from Isaac, since it meant they would be apart, but with the fact that some small piece of his soul had been so happy about that, he couldn't help but know it was the right decision.

"This is why people don't stay with you, Dom. You're selfish," were the first words he'd heard from his lover's lips that morning, as he was leaving their apartment to head in for his shift. Dom tried to ignore the heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach, but it seemed Isaac's cruel words were destined to play over and over in his mind the entire time his commute took.

As was typical for Christmas, a skeleton crew of doctors and nurses were there, looking after the patients on Keller, and he was grateful to not have to run into Sacha or Essie, since it would be very difficult to explain his distinct lack of Christmas cheer. Still, he gave fleeting smiles to the staff as he disappeared into the locker room and quickly changed. Once he was in the familiar burgundy scrubs, he felt a bit more on even keel and he made his way back out onto the ward.

Heading over to the board, he took note of the surgeries that had been planned, though he couldn't help but be taken aback by the name of the surgeon he would be working with. "This has to be some sort of mistake," he whispered, only to feel someone come up behind him.

"No mistake, Dom. Hanssen volunteered to take over the ward for Sacha this year, so that he could spend time with Daniel." He jumped a little to look at Essie. "Me? I just didn't want to be alone on Christmas, so here I am."

He hugged her tightly as he nodded. "Well, we'll make it through together. At least I get to see your smiling face all day," he teased as he nudged her ribs with his elbow.

"Very true. And I may have brought food for us all. Nothing much, mind you, but enough to remind us that it's Christmas day."

Dom smiled widely as he picked up his tablet and went out onto the ward. "Then we are very lucky indeed!" he called out as he started his obs. It didn't take long to get through everyone, since Keller was normally a quieter ward. Once that was done, he went back to the station and dropped off his tablet before popping down to AAU to see if Morven was there.

Unsurprisingly, she was there, though Cameron was hovering around her, and he shook his head as he made his way over to them, tapping Morven's shoulder insistently. "So, dating the co-lead's son couldn't even get you off on Christmas?"

"Dom! We're not dating." Morven blushed a little as she hugged him tightly. "Though he is a dish, isn't he?"

"I'm still here, Morven."

They both looked at Cameron, and Dom let out a little chuckle. "Well, I'll leave you two turtledoves to work out which one of you is going to make the first move. I just wanted to see if there was anything interesting down here that would pique my interest. I have to be in theatre with the Scandiman later on."

"Really? I didn't realise that he was back from Sweden."

"Well, he is, and he is making my life a nightmare. I should never have volunteered to work today." Morven gave him a knowing look and he shrugged as he shook his head a little. "What? Is it too much to ask that I don't interact with him much at all?"

"He's not that bad, Dom. Mum said that he reached out to her several times when she was in Ukraine, making certain that she was okay. I'm assuming he was also kind to Serena, and everything she was going through, since the rumor mill here is pretty vicious."

He pursed his lips as he shrugged again, rolling his eyes. "Yes, well, some of us don't really have lives outside these walls. Happy Christmas." He turned and made his way back to the stairwell, climbing slowly. Knowing that Essie would bleep him if anything important came up, he bypassed the floor for Keller and continued on up to the roof.

The first thing he thought was how ridiculously stupid it had been to come out there, as it was bloody cold and he had forgotten his hoodie. Shivering a little, he made his way over to the spot he and Bernie normally occupied and took a seat, hugging his legs close to his chest. There was something so freeing about being on the roof, since there was nothing to separate him from the sky, and all his troubles seemed to melt away.

" _D_ _ä_ _r Gud i nattens timma, Ren vilar upp på strå_." Dom raised his head from his legs and glanced around the rooftop, not finding the source of the light baritone voice. " _Hur god du var som ville, Till jorden komma ned, Nu ej i synd jag spiller, Min barndoms dagar mer.._."

As the song continued on, Dom unfolded his legs and began to quietly creep about the roof until he found the source of the melancholy voice. A shocked gasp slipped from his lips when his eyes fell upon the very man he had been hoping to avoid that day. Dom went to turn and scurry away, only for his feet to catch on some loose stones, the noise enough to catch Hanssen's attention and make him turn Dom's way.

"I, I'm sorry. I thought that I was up here alone. I would never…"

Dom's voice trailed off as the man's dark eyes bored into him, not saying a word. He swallowed thickly before completing his rotation and starting to make for the door. "Don't go."

The words were low, and Dom could almost think that he had imagined them. But then he was reminded that the man usually spoke quietly when he wanted someone to really pay attention. Slowly, he turned back to look at Hanssen, really focusing in on his face. There were lines there that he hadn't noticed before, and he scrunched his mouth up to one side as he looked away to stare at Hanssen's feet. "This is usually my sanctuary. Bernie and I come up here to think."

"It is a good place to do just that."

"What were you singing?"

Dom didn't know why he was curious, but he was, and he wondered what sort of answer he would get. " _När juldagsmorgon glimmer_."

"Bless you." He knew, deep in his heart, that he was being entirely too flippant, but there was a quiver to those words that he didn't want to acknowledge. He didn't want to see his boss as quite so human, because other than that time he had sobbed in his arms over Arthur's death, they hadn't ever seemed to have a meeting of the minds. Hanssen gave him a small smile as he shook his head.

"It's a Swedish Christmas song. Usually, it sounds a little happier."

"You have to be happy to sound happy." He had no idea why those words slipped from his lips, since he certainly didn't want anyone to know that he was unhappy with Isaac. After all, he just wasn't trying hard enough to make things work. Pursing his lips together tightly, he tried to keep his tears at bay, not wanting this to be the second time he cried in front of the man. "Um, I'm in theatre with you today?" he asked, trying to steer the conversation onto a more neutral topic.

"Yes, Mister Copeland. There were only three electives scheduled for today, so I thought that it would keep us both occupied if we worked on them together. This isn't just a hard day for you." He looked up in time to see the sad look that flitted across Hanssen's face and his hand reached out, stopping just short of actually touching his suit coat sleeve. "Mister Copeland?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude on your personal time." He let out a sigh of resignation before closing the distance between them and hugging the man tightly, resting his cheek against Hanssen's chest as he struggled to keep from breaking down completely. "I guess we both needed a little time alone today. And I miss Arthur, too. It seems like everyone's moving on, and I can't, and there's no one who understands."

There was a moment of hesitation before the taciturn man was returning the embrace, his grip not quite as tight as Dom's, and that was all he needed to start openly weeping. "This is more than just Arthur, Dominic."

He let out a watery laugh as he nodded. "I'm not happy, but I want to be. I want to be happy with Isaac. But I feel like that's not in the cards for us. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. Maybe I need to be a better person."

That was the problem of the rooftop. He always felt compelled to tell the truth, no matter who he was talking to. Hanssen pushed him away a little, but Dom tightened his hold once more, not wanting to have to face yet another look of disappointment on someone's face. "Mister Copeland…"

"Just give me a ten second head start, okay?" he murmured before letting Hanssen go and turning on his heel, making his way to the stairs and fairly fleeing down them. In the background, he could hear Hanssen call after him, but he ignored him in order to escape from the overwhelming feeling that he was drowning without water.

He pushed his way onto the first ward that he reached, knowing that the more distance he put between himself and Hanssen, the less likely it was that he would have to answer any questions. And then, he was making his way over to the lift, riding it down to Keller to disappear into the locker room.

He opened his locker and rummaged around in his coat until he had pulled out his wallet and pulled out a tenner. The only thing that he could think of that would make any of this better was strong coffee and something sweet. Essie tried to stop him on his way off the ward, but he shrugged off her hand, shaking his head. "Don't ask, Essie. Not now."

"I'll bleep you when it's time for your first surgery," she called after him, and he raised his hand in acknowledgement, never looking back at her as he hurried back off the ward and headed down to Pulses. Thankfully, a skeleton crew was also working there, and he grabbed the largest pastry available before ordering some completely fattening, sugary, drink.

Once he had his drink in hand, Dom made his way to the last booth in the shop, knowing that it was somewhat secluded and that he was likely to be overlooked should anyone come looking for him. Dom settled himself on the bench, letting his back rest against the wall as he brought his knees up to his chest, staring into space. Absently, he picked at the sticky sweet, eating it because he needed to keep his energy up, not because he was tasting it.

"You cannot always run from your problems."

He glanced up at Hanssen and shrugged a little. "It's worked out well enough in the past. Maybe it's time I cut my losses and ran away completely."

Hanssen quirked one eyebrow up as he took a seat across from Dom, his large hands wrapped around a coffee cup. This close to the man, he was able to see how elegant those hands were, but the first thing that he thought of was not anywhere near appropriate, and a warm blush stained his cheeks as he looked back at his knees, trying to not think about what it might be like have one of those hands splayed out across his back, holding him close as he masterfully possessed his lips in a torrid kiss. Maybe his mother's silly soaps had sunk into his brain too much, had turned all his romantic fantasies to complete rubbish.

"The last thing you need to do is that, Mister Copeland. There are a number of people here who would be most sorry to see you leave."

Dom chanced a glance at Hanssen, only to see that he was staring at the tabletop, a pensive look on his face. "Maybe Essie. And Morven."

"And Ms. Wolfe. I do believe that you mentioned you're close with her?"

Dom nodded a little as he brought his cup to his lips, taking a long sip. "We get along because we're cut from the same cloth. Neither of us are as brave as we like to pretend that we are."

"But she's found someone that she can be vulnerable with."

"And now she's happy. Imagine that." He pasted on a deprecating smile before breaking off another piece of his pastry and popping it into his mouth. The move allowed him to silently try to keep his thoughts in check, as he didn't want to mock the genuinely sweet relationship Bernie had found herself in. He knew that she deserved that happiness after everything that had gone wrong in her life.

"Yes, it is a lovely thing to be happy."

The undercurrent in Hanssen's words caught Dom's attention, and he glanced over at him, taking in the haunted look that shaded the older man's face. "Well, when you figure out the equation for making yourself happy, let me know. Because I'm starting to grow tired of always putting on a mask."

He held his breath as he waited for a reply. Instead, the man reached across the table and lightly touched his wrist. The contact was enough to cause him to tear up, and yet he didn't pull his gaze away from Hanssen's face. "It takes a very perceptive person to know that they're hiding from something. Perhaps, in the coming year, you can work on your bravery. There are people who would support you, no matter what your decision."

"I know," Dom whispered, unable to stop looking into Hanssen's dark eyes. "But are you one of those people?" He didn't know why he asked that question, but it was out of his mouth before he could call the words back.

"I can be. But if it's easier to continue seeing me as adversary rather than comrade, I can be that, too. The choice is yours."

Dom nodded slowly, his mind stumbling over all their past interactions, casting them in a different light now that he had gotten to really peek into the man's soul. "What if there's a third choice?" he asked as he covered Hanssen's hand with his other one, holding it tightly to his wrist. They were both treading on extremely thin ice, he knew, but he had never played anything safe in his life.

"Then there is a third choice." Hanssen's lips ticked up a little as he squeezed Dom's wrist a little tighter. "Though any use of Scandiman would have to end. Are we clear?"

And just like that, everything fell into place for Dom, and he nodded, giving Hanssen a true, warm, smile. "Quite clear. Now, I think that I should probably get prepared for our surgeries today. Though once we're finished…"

"Then we can decide where to go to supper. Unless you've plans with Isaac."

"He might have plans, but I don't think they include me any longer, nor should they. There won't be many places open on Christmas, but we could always make something together at your place?" He made to get up, only for Hanssen to not let go of his wrist. Cocking his head to one side, Dom frowned a little as he sat once more. "Henrik?"

The name felt odd on his lips, but right, and the pleased smirk that flitted across the man's face sent butterflies dancing through his veins. "Dominic. Yes, my place will be fine." He relaxed a little as he nodded, sliding out of the booth and making his way over to the lift. Maybe Christmas miracles could still happen to people, he mused as he stepped inside, feeling lighter than he had in months. Smiling a little wider, he pulled out his phone and texted Bernie _I think I might finally be finding my bravery. I'll tell you all about it on our next shift together. Happy Christmas, and make certain you stand beneath the mistletoe with Serena at least twenty times. I want to see raw lips! Xx_

Shoving his phone back into his pocket, he began to hum the tune Hanss- no, Henrik, had been singing earlier, a sense of dawning wonder and peace settling over his soul as he made his way back to Keller. Christmas had suddenly become that much better, and he hoped that it would continue on that way in the future.


End file.
